Zoey was never featured on my site as she has been retired for
several years and was a valued member of the family. I got Zoey for
my birthday a little over 11 years ago. She was not your typical small
beautiful Yorkie. She was more of the old English style, but her
personality and disposition more than made up for what she lacked in
looks. She produced many puppies for me. She consistently out
produced herself. Her puppies were small and beautiful each time.
She was a wonderful mother and even fostered 3 newborn Doberman
pups along with her own. That was a site. She is the mother to Sassy
on my Yorkie page, and the grandmother to Dorrie and Gnemi.
Her disposition was such that my Vet called me and wanted to be
placed on the waiting list for one of her puppies. She stated in all her
years she had never treated a Yorkie with her disposition. What a
compliment. Her last litter she had 8 pups and raised them all. My Vet
received a pup from that litter. She retired on that one. As adults they
ranged from 5 lbs all the way down to 2.5 lbs.
In April of 2009 I noticed a growth in her mouth. I knew in my heart it
wasn't good. I took her in to have it removed. It came back as a
fibrosarcoma. Not good news. We went thru 3 weekly treatments of
radiation. The radiologist seemed confident it wouldn't come back. In
July it returned with a Vengence. She went thru another 2 radiation
treatments MUCH stronger than the first round. In fact the Radiologist
stated if she lived another 3 years that her jaw would deteriate due to
the strength of the treatments. It took a month ,but the radiation had
shrunk the tumor. It was again gone. Yeah. The victory did not last
long. In October it returned. I decided not to put her thru more
treatment. Apparently it was very aggressive and couldn't be cured.
She would live out her life with dignity. She would let me know when it
was time.
I had to go to Texas in November for 2 weeks on a family matter.
When I returned, the cancer had gotten so large she couldn't eat. She
still had an appetite. She wanted to eat but couldn't. I could not stand
to watch her staring at the food bowl, wanting to eat and couldn't, but
she clearly wasn't ready to leave us.
I had the growth removed again. This was clearly a comfort measure
and not an attempt to cure her. I knew that wasn't going to happen. My
Vet told me that it had spread to the roof of her mouth and sinuses
and that our time was short.
In the middle of December she began to decline. Her appetite
decreased,she wanted to be alone and sleep. Some days would be
really bad and I would decide to end her suffering. Then the next day
she would rally as to say no, I am not ready. It was an agonizing time.
What to do, what to do.
The Tuesday before Christmas was a really bad day and I felt it was
time. I called to take her in the next day just to find out my Vet was off
until the Monday after Christmas. I didn't want anyone but her to do it.
We would have to wait 6 more days.
Those next 6 days were bittersweet. We spent them loving her
,sleeping with her and going for rides in the car(her very favorite
thing). We also spent alot of time grieving. It was heart wrenching. The
spark had started leaving her eyes,she didn't eat much and she slept
most of the time. Still I kept second guessing myself. Is it time? Am I
being selfish? Does she really want to go? It was tormenting. That
Monday arrived. I had an appt. for the end of the day. She had been
going off and sleeping for hours in the past week,but that morning, it
was as if she knew. She was like my shadow that day. I couldn't walk
without tripping over her. I couldn't stand it. I could not watch each
hour go by knowing it was one hour closer to her death. I called and
moved her appt. to lunch time that day. It was one of the hardest
things I have ever done. I ask my Vet. to give her a sedative first. I
held her as she gave her the euthanizing medication. OMG she didn't
die. I was hysterical. I really began wondering if she was saying I'm not
ready. Zoey only weighed 8 lbs. She had been given enough for a 20
lb. dog. She was given another 20 lb. dose. She stopped breathing
and her heart stopped. It was over and she was gone. I held her close
and said my goodbyes as I sobbed. My husband was sobbing and my
Vet. lost it too. It was so hard to leave there without her. I left her to be
cremated. One day her ashes will be buried with me. As I finish this
writing, it has been 3 months since she went to wait at rainbow bridge.
I am still grieving. Will I ever be through grieving. I don't know. I can
only hope that the pain will lessen in time.
Zoey was truly a special girl. Everyone who met her was impressed
with her disposition and her level of obedience. It was as if she
understood what I was saying and obeyed instantly. My Vet waited to
get one of her puppies . She said in all her years of being a Vet., she
had never treated a dog with Zoey's disposition. She got a puppy out
of Zoey's last litter.
Six weeks or so after Zoey passed, I received a letter from the UGA
Vet. school saying that my Vet's. practice had made a monetary
contribution to the Vet. school in memory of Zoey. They will never
know how special that was to me and Zoey ,I hope always knew how
special she was. I love you Zoey. Wait for me at Rainbow bridge. I will
be looking for you.
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